How To Say Goodbye To The Why – Three Reasons

“There is much asked and only so much I think I can or should answer, and so, …I would like to give a few thoughts on what seemed to be the overwhelming question: “WHY?”
And here is the best answer I can give:

  • Because.
  • Because sometimes, life is damned unfair…
  • Because sometimes there aren’t really answers to our questions except for what we discover, the meaning we assign them over time…

Why, you ask? “Because”, I answer.
Inadequate yet true.” ― Libba Bray

When you are broadsided with something that just is not right, generally the first thing that comes to mind is “Why?” or “How did this happen?”.  This is a natural human response in our “cause and effect” world mentality.  However, when dealing with the less-than-fun surprises of life, you must learn to “say goodbye to the Why”.

Asking Why at this point, becomes a roadblock to dealing with the situation head-on.  It will paralyze you and behind that paralysis is icky ole’ fear lurking somewhere.  When the breast cancer diagnosis came my way, the first thing I wanted to know was:  HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

My Defense To The “Why”

After all, I am the one who feeds and nurtures my body.  I am the one responsible for its care. I did none of the things they say “causes” cancer.  This care and feeding was done for most of my adult life.  I had:

  • managed my weight with good healthy food
  • limited my intake of sugar
  • drank filtered water and green tea (which I happened to like)
  • stayed active with workouts, walks, and bike rides.
  • avoided drugs, excessive alcohol, and smoking
  • took appropriate natural supplements
  • got good rest (well at least after I retired ten years earlier)

All with some effort, expense, and intentionality.  When interviewed by the cancer experts about my medical history and lifestyle, I presented my self-care plan – documented.  They had no answers.  I hate that.  There HAS to be a cause.  I was angry at the unfairness of it.

Three Reasons To Say Goodbye To The Why

Knowing why or how had some value. After all, if I was doing something that allowed this thing to invade my body I wanted to correct that immediately.  It was frustrating to not have any answers.  It was even more frustrating to trust a system in treating this when they had no clue as to why I was facing this.

  1. The reality was I needed the medical system to deal with this.  Only they had the equipment and, although limited, expertise that could tell me when cancer and its’ threats to my being were gone.  I had to say goodbye to the why to interact with these people.
  2. In order to have the strength and energy to face this, the anger and fear had to go, so the Why had to go.
  3. Saying goodbye to the Why enabled me to access the faith I needed to trust, not the medical system, not any natural answers, but to trust God who does know and does have answers.  To trust Him that He would share those things with me at the right time.

whyStill Living Past the Why

Almost five years later, I have learned a lot.  Pieces of information have been collected, yet there is still no definitive answer, medically speaking, as to why.

I have made even more adjustments to my diet and other aspects of my life.  Regular blood work shores up that effort.

Do I regret that I had made all that effort?  Not in the least!  First, I was in great shape to face the treatment I chose to have.  Second I have been able to live the last five years with minimal interruption and virtually no recovery time needed.  Cancer was not the center of my life.

No, it is always worth it to be in the best health possible.  This way, when the battle comes, you are ready.  Letting go of the Why lightens the load.

Do you have a “Why” tripping you up?  If so, I encourage you to identify it and to let it go.  That does not mean there is not an answer, it just means you don’t have to carry it around until the answer comes. 

I am a former air traffic controller, pilot, Aircoupe owner, married 42 years to a great guy. We live in a 125+ year old historic Victorian, enjoy cats, vintage anything, precious friends. My passion is Giving Lost Stories A Voice – Giving Found Materials Fresh Form and Purpose!

2 thoughts on “How To Say Goodbye To The Why – Three Reasons

  1. Hello.. The interesting way I located this site. My father passed in 05.. I had been doing some digging on some of the stuff he had done. Had some unknown aerial photos from long ago and just realized what the location. anyway going through a box of dads treasures, I came across a May 14, 1966 meeting notice of the “Jayhawk Chapter 88”. Dang, I thought there is the name of his flying club.. I recall him telling me that Burt Rutan was the president of his club.. The “dang” was that I’m a Kentuckian but was accidentally born a Kansas Red-leg Jayhawker. Dad was an aviation junkie and helped build a plane with a Mr. ?? Spillmen out near the air force base near Witicha. He was working Dynalectorn Corporation as a civilian.. He did manage to build his own biplane and fly it in 89. Prop failed at 100 ft and he dove it in to some small tree tops damaging it pretty bad. He got it mostly back together before passing on.. So your story about your father’s plane and how it’s getting done inspires me… Thanks Ron Byron

    P.S. names mentioned in EAA CH 88 from 1966 Russ Brown, Kenneth Razak

    1. I am pleased you found my BLOG and even more pleased you took time to respond. It sounds as if your dad had an interesting career. So many worked behind the scenes doing key work. The aviation/aerospace world is very small. All connected the laws of aerodynamics in some way or another.
      Do you still have your dad’s plane? Do you know what engine it had on it? Working on my dad’s plane is very satisfying. It is slow work, but progress is made every week.
      I will be at the EAA Chapter 88 monthly breakfast tomorrow and will ask around about the names. We have a wealth of skilled, experienced expertise in out group. I am learning much.

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